Omen and Chad Over the Edge (Part Three)
An unauthorized Critters Cult story in six parts
ππ΄ π½πΎπ ππ΄πππΌπ΄ πΎππ πππΎππ with a carriage of visitors slowly working its way along the countryside to the home of Omen and Chad. None of these critters were NFTs that I own, though, and I am trying to be sensitive to that.
I will say that one of the critters was a very old woman decked out in flapper getup. Another was a dandy. And yet another was an admiral. The admiral sat in the middle; the dandy and the old flap sat on each side, holding hands. (Their hands were resting on the admiralβs lap.)
Now, of course I would like the admiral to be an ossum, but I donβt know if I can do that. So maybe he is more of a dog.
Anywayβthese three critters were winding their way up the path in a carriage that appeared to have no driver. And also: was not horse-driven. But if you look closely, there was actually a providence relic floating above the drivers seat! (A floating sand-colored pyramidββthe eye of providenceβ.) We donβt know if the driver was invisible (and sitting just below the relic) or if the relic belonged to one of the passengers (and was acting independently) or if the relic was fully its own autonomous being. All we know is that in video #6 of the original Critters Cult teasers, a providence relic emerges from the center of a dark, wet floor and appears to act on its own volition, conjuring a second relicβa pendulum relicβover the head of some felis-looking critter.
So, hey, relics can do things!
What was the nature of their business? They didnβt say a word to each other, so we donβt know exactly. The admiral stared fixedly ahead, with extremely good posture. The dandy couldnβt stop tossing glances back and forth between the other passengers. He seemed very touchy. The flapper isnβt even worth describingβshe just waited patiently to arrive. Hours and hours, winding through the rain.
ππ·π΄π π³πΈπ³π½'π π°πππΈπ π΄, ππ·πΎππΆπ·. You recall I mentioned a huge lake at the gates of Wildemore? You probably missed it because the first part of this story came down two days ago and a lot has happened in your life since then.
So let me remind you. There was a big puddle at the gate.
People always overlook it. They think itβs shallow and their vehicle will just go straight through it. In this case, it almost seems like the relic drove them all headlong into the drinkβwe donβt know for sure, though, because (again) we donβt know if the relic is driving or if it was being controlledβ¦
So, look. I know itβs tiresome that I keep having to make all these caveats and disclaimers around what I can and canβt doβbut itβs not my fault! Iβm not responsible for this world and I donβt want this work of fiction to get retconned or dismissed. Surely you understand. I mean you must be gratefulβyou must! A work of Critters Cult fiction is better than no work of Critters Cult fiction, yes? Even if itβs annoying as hell. (Of course I can control my own neuroticismβthatβs a good point. And I take responsibility for that. But I certainly canβt be held liable for YOUR DISTASTE for my neuroticism!)
So the rain now poured. At first, the pool of water slopped around in a big show of what a hefty and critter-filled carriage it had just swallowed. But as the carriage quickly slipped awayβdamned critters never close the windows on these thingsβthe pool digested them, then worked them through the darkness of its cold depths, then excreted them on to their permanent spot on that rocky, mossy floorβnestled among eight or nine other long-forgotten animal caravans.
Drops of rain hammered against the firm surface of the lake. It truly looked to be just an inch of water. Perhaps there were some light rail marks left in the mud at the waterβs edge.
A lone providence relic came up through the water and stood in the air for some time, rotating helplessly.
Rough ending there. Hope theyβre not dead, but unfortunately they actually are. See, now you see why I didnβt want to use my own NFTs!
Okayβcatch you later.